My Husband Lost His Job - Part Two

This Wasn’t the First Time my Husband Lost his Job

My mom reminded me last night that this wasn’t our first experience in which Steve had been let go from a job. In fact, it happened 10 years ago when the locomotive plant Steve worked for, Electro-Motive Diesel (owned by Caterpillar) decided to close its doors and move operations to Muncie, Indiana. Over 460 workers lost their jobs.

We had just moved into a new home at the time which was a financial stretch for us to afford.

Add on the fact that the new, well-paying job Steve had for 6 months, was now ending…at some point. Plant operations would be winding down and he would be kept on staff for an indefinite amount of time, to help close up operations and train workers in Indiana.

I didn’t handle this lay off well. I was worried sick about how we would pay our bills for the new home. I didn’t know where Steve would be able to find a new job in a somewhat bleak job market. Negative thoughts and worry were all consuming.

I couldn’t sleep at night.

I even had a friend state that she wanted me to come away to a cottage with some friends for a girl’s weekend away, but she didn’t want me talking about the job loss. No negative vibes on this girl’s weekend or I wasn’t welcome.

For anyone thinking of making a similar offer to a friend, I would recommend giving everyone on your trip just 10 minutes to dish out their stresses, their worries, their sadness. Listen to them. Hear them. Validate them. Then encourage them to let the stresses go – if only for the weekend. Such a nicer way to go about things then to shame someone into behaving the way you would like – because those worries and stresses sometimes can’t just be shelved. Feeling heard is healing and helpful!

What did I learn from that experience?

I learnt that worrying is wasted energy.

In the end we sold our condo and moved with our one-year-old daughter into our new home. Steve ended up finding a new job before he was officially let go from Electro-Motive Diesel and all that worry, tears, and fear were for nothing. Lesson learned.

It was from that life experience that we learned to:

A. Prepare for situations like this and

B. Focus on only the things we can control

What went wrong? Perhaps everything went right.

While we took all the steps to move gracefully through this period of unemployment, we did have some hard times still. Steve found himself in this situation because he was taking risks with his career. Likely due to the fact that I’m always encouraging him, and pushing him to challenge himself.

When he decided to leave his job of 7 or 8 years (which was extremely stressful with lots of overtime) he had gone on a number of interviews. He accepted a job in Woodstock that was less stressful and close to home. To be honest, it really wasn’t the best fit and after a few months, one of the people he had interviewed with in the previous months reached out with a new job opportunity.

Steve wasn’t overly comfortable with the fact that he had only been at a job for 8 weeks and was leaving for something different, but it was a great opportunity for career growth. He took the calculated risk for the potential of something better.

It wasn’t better and as mentioned previously, he was let go just before his 90 day probationary period.

So what happened? How long was Steve unemployed for!?

It’s important to leave jobs on a good note, because you never know when you might need to go back.

The day he was let go; Steve e-mailed his ex-employer from the job he had before bouncing through these other two roles. He asked if they were needing anyone and that the job he left for didn’t pan out. They replied and said they weren’t in the market for anyone and wished him all the best on his job hunt.

Over the next 6 weeks Steve applied to a few jobs that were a good fit. Steve was willing to work any job to put food on the table, but we weren’t desperate for him to take the first job that came along. We had some time, and since those last two positions didn’t work out, Steve wanted to find a long-term stable job again.

Steve ended up interviewing for three roles. Having hope for a new job can really play with your emotions and the interview process can feel like a bit of a rollercoaster. The last job he interviewed was really promising. He went into his interview and was greeted by past co-workers from Electro-Motive Diesel. People he had a great working relationship with and who were excited to see that he was interviewing for this role. He came home really excited.

“This is the one I can feel it!”.

He was called back in for a second interview. Things were really moving in the right direction and we were hopeful this was it. We waited all week to hear if Steve would be hired and at the end of the day, they decided to go with another candidate.

It was in this moment we both felt pretty defeated. We had a moment where the rollercoaster of unemployment felt heavy, disappointing, and hopeless. It’s hard when these things happen because there are many setbacks, but you have to trust that the universe is getting you to where you are meant to be.

Would you believe that two hours after Steve got the rejection e-mail, his old boss reached out to ask if he was still looking for work? The next day they met, and they had hired Steve back into a different, closer to home role within the week. Steve ended up being off work for about 8 weeks.

When people say not to burn your bridges, they’re speaking the truth! To be hired back after leaving a job is a true testament to the kind of worker Steve was. He really started to question his own abilities when he was let go. But we can’t always take these decisions personally.

How do you lessen the pain of job loss!?

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I wouldn’t wish this on any family and it makes me sad to know that so many are now in a similar situation due to the pandemic. If you are currently employed, I would highly recommend planning ahead!

You will have less stress if you have money in the bank. This is why building up an emergency fund is critical. It’s a gift to yourself to sock money away for a rainy day. We started by putting $50 a week into an emergency fund. We put ours directly into a TSFA and invested it so our money would grow and not just collect dust in a bank account.

If you’re Canadian and haven’t started an emergency fund yet, I would highly recommend Wealth Simple. I opened a TFSA with them in August and as of writing this post, my investments have grown 65%!!!

If you do the math, $50 a week is $2600 a year. It doesn’t seem like much, but it really starts to compound over the years. If that seems like a lot to you, then start smaller knowing that every $5 or $10 you contribute will grow over time and you’ll have access to it when you really need it.

Because we chose to pay ourselves first, there was a lot less panic when Steve was let go. You hopefully qualify for Employment Insurance, so if you can – hold onto that emergency fund for when that runs out and there is literally no income coming in.

We cut back on everything when Steve lost his job. You simply cannot continue to spend and act like you did when you had a pay day. This is common sense but no everyone is accepting of this lifestyle adjustment. Luckily, my husband and I were on the same page with this.

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Focus on What You Can Control

You’re only in control of your own actions and even when things feel tough, you can choose to be neutral in the situation. It is what it is. You don’t need to be ‘happy’ that your family is dealing with a major loss of income, but you can be neutral.

Yes, you or your spouse lost your job. Yes, your lives are different right now. But you can’t change the past, so instead focus on what you can do.

Update your resume and create job specific cover letters to make yourself stand out from other job candidates.

Look up classes or training courses that you can complete while waiting for your next job.

Concentrate on enjoying your new-found time off by enjoying the things you didn’t have time for when you were busy with work. Such as hobbies or spending more time with family.

Take care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally. Work on building yourself up and waste no energy on tearing yourself or your spouse down.

My point being, don’t waste your days on the couch watching Netflix. You have been given the gift of time. The gift of change. The gift of discovering what you want to do for work. Don’t waste this opportunity of new direction.

Where We’re at Today

Steve was content with that role for the next year and a half until one of our friends reached out, completely out of the blue with a new opportunity this past October. Steve was really cautious about taking on a new position after what we went through in 2019. We weighed the pros and cons, and decided he should go for it.

Steve just passed his 90 day review period in this new role and has been finding it to be challenging and rewarding.

I’m proud of Steve for not settling. It would have been pretty easy after the last few job hurdles to sit his ass in a comfortable role and work out the rest of his years making safe choices. We were grateful that his old employer hired him back but taking risks in your career is important.

This is coming from a woman who’s held the same role, at the same company for 15 years! Let’s just say I’m living vicariously through Steve and I really love my employer!

I’m sorry if you’re reading this post and are affected by job loss right now. My heart goes out to you.

I hope that it is over quickly for you and your family, and that you get some comfort reading how we transitioned through this rocky time as a family.

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